Today (June 12, 2007) is our 20th Wedding Anniversary.... YAY!
Mele and I met on August 1, 1981; the summer before my senior year in high school. It's been nearly 30 years of love, tenderness, joy, happiness, pain, frustration, compromises, exciting times, scary
moments... all an amazing roller coaster ride that has had soooooo many more ups and positives than downs. We have definitely survived some downs that did not seem possible at the time. The one thing that has carried us all these years is love and respect.
Love and respect go hand in hand. Love is a deep understanding of the relationship, the individual and the path in which we both want to go. That deep understanding of the individual creates opportunities for each other to learn what can cause feelings of anger, joy, frustration, bliss, etc.. in the other individual. This is where respect plays a major role. It's important to avoid using what we know about each other to "win" a given discussion or fight.
Respect for each other has been the driving force behind each confrontation we may have. This has kept us from hurting each other in such a way for which there is no repair. I've observed this in many couples where their marriage has either ended in divorce or they are living in a miserable environment.
That said, we have still had difficult times and battled through them.
Mele is an amazing woman that has been able to keep me focused through the years. I have accomplished more than I expected and most of it is due to her inner strength to motivate our family to target excellence in everything we do. I have also helped her in many ways, but I am certain that her contributions to my personal growth have been much greater than mine to hers.
She has a basic instinct that strives for excellence all the time. Some people could call it being a perfectionist, but she's much more evolved than that. She is keenly aware of the areas where perfection is just not achievable... she's an amazing woman.
I know that without her by my side, I could not have had a marriage last this long.
To last another 20+ years, we will continue to have difficult moments, times of love and joy... and continue to ride this wonderful roller coaster that is my life with Mele.
NOTE: After Mele read this blogpost, she asked me to put her thoughts in it as well... here are Mele's thoughts on our lives together for the last 20+ years:
I met Javier one hot Venezuelan afternoon. I was at my best friend's house, sitting on the floor, probably not looking my best, cutting cardboard with a bad knife to help my friend prepare for her birthday party. That day I got lost in Javier's eyes from the moment we met, felt the sweetness of his smile, and knew that, some day, I was going to marry that 17 year old kid. And I did.
Once I fell in love with Javier, I never stopped loving him; we had problems of all kinds, yet we survived together. He is the kind of man that gets excited with every crazy adventure that crosses my mind and supports my craziness to wherever I want to take it. I have been able to be a singer, a student, a mother, a crafter and an artist because of his unconditional love and support. He's always waiting to see the results of my creative mind and he does it with a smile, boosting my confidence and elevating me to never imagined heights.
Life without my Javier is unimaginable. I love living with him, sharing with him, sleeping with him and waking up next to that same wonderful smile that tied me to him so many years ago.
So… 20, 30, 40 or more years with the love of my life sound just great; I can't wait to see what the future holds for the two of us, holding hands like always and repeating our favorite phrase many times each day: "I love you".